When we thought about recording my parents' life stories, we always wanted to hear from both of them.

Dad’s life had included running marathons, farms, and journalism training in New Zealand. And his brother was one of the scientists whose work inspired Jurassic Park.

Mum’s story was just as interesting.

From a rough start - including losing her own mum at three - she’d risen through education to become principal of Auckland Girls’ Grammar School.

So when Steve Holloway and I started the Reflections business - which records the life stories of Kiwis - I assumed we’d hear from men and women in roughly equal numbers.

I was wrong.

Almost a year in, over 80% of the people being put forward by families to share their story are men.

That doesn’t sit quite right. So, we’ve started looking for reasons.

One person who'd recorded her father's life story with us said she felt her mum had shared her story during the course of her life. But her dad hadn't.

Maybe dads are being prioritised because their stories feel more unknown?

A friend asked both his parents if they'd be willing to be interviewed. His dad said "Sure." His mum said "No thanks."

Maybe men have an easier relationship with the idea that their story matters?

I checked in with my 84-year-old mum.

She suspected many women of her generation were taught to see themselves as supporting characters in someone else's story. Not the lead.

With International Women's Day this weekend, it feels like a good moment to ask why.

Nearly every woman who has sat down with us has said: "I don't know if I have much to tell."

Every single one was wrong.

Because before she was mum, she was someone else entirely.

She had a best friend whose name you've never heard. A dream she may never have spoken aloud. A first job, a first heartbreak, a version of herself that existed well before any kids.

We're starting to understand some reasons why dad tends to be the one behind the mic. But we'd love to hear from you.

Why does mum's story so often wait its turn?

Your answers might help us make sure fewer stories like hers go untold.

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